So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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