My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
