Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
