Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
