My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
