Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
