So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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