Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
