Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
