There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
