I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
