just tell him i said nine months
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
