I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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