what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
