i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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