I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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