I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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