i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
