I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
