Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
