we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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