one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
