i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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