i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
