we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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