So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
