Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
