He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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