every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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