No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
