Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
