You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
