Are we in a gay sports bar?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
