What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
