i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
