Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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