Pappa wants mamma naked
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
