piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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