you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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