Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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