Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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