You can't special order awesome
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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