On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
