I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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