let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
