The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
