ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yo dont text me then not text me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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