He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
