i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
