lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
