NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
