i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize